When I was 16, I made wild goals for my future.
- Graduated from college by 25, career by 26, own a house by 30, get the hell out of Michigan, have 50,000$ in savings, be a published author-
Oddly I didn't have a clue as to what I wanted that career to be or where I wanted to go other than Michigan. In fact by the time I was 20 I had dropped out of college. Twice. I was working on a pretty severe alcohol dependency, had stopped writing, and was bouncing from serving job to serving job. I had no direction in life and had abandoned all those goals. Gone were the childhood dreams of being a marine biologist and lawyer. I just wanted to drink and be young. I was young, and I deserved to have fun. I was the living embodiment of that snoop dogg/wiz kalifa song.
"So what we get drunk
So what we smoke weed
We’re just having fun
We don’t care who sees
So what we go out
That’s how it's supposed to be
Living young and wild and free"
No one makes goals to become an addict, ruin their life with a DUI, and become a single a single mom. Not at 16. Not at 21. Not ever. But that is where I found myself. Not all at once of course. But eventually, I had drank the fun out of drinking, racked up two DUIs, and imploded the relationship with J's father.
A few days in jail, sobriety court, and 2 years of sobriety later I am turning my life around. I am not where I want to be but I am working on it. Early in sobriety I struggled, feeling like I wasted 30 years of my life. I should be done with college by now and have a career, not just starting. I am working on trying to stay positive.
It won't happen overnight, but even if it takes me till 40 to meet all my goals I still have 3o whole years to thrive and be happy in a career I worked my ass of for.
Now I have new goals.
<>BA is Social Work <> CPRM Certificate <> BCR more established <> Happy
<> Own a house <> Job in the recovery field <> Happy
That's it. I don't want a million dollars in the bank or a fancy car. I just want to be happy.