I wrote this early in my recovery when I was still plagued by suffocating guilt I never thought I would be able to survive. I was ashamed of years worth of choices and actions and didn't know how I was going to overcome it. So I wrote. None of it was particularly good, but it helped.
What helped you early in your recovery? Writing? Boxing? Sleeping?
one sip and your inhibitions lower just like your jeans.
one sip and the whispers of doubt turn in to the song of slithering sloppy mating.
the person you said “hi” to in passing becomes all you can think about.
you want them.
no, you NEED them.
their skin pressed against yours.
their tongue leaving sticky hot trails of drunken desire.
at the moment this is what you desire most in life.
slivers of sunlight set off the pounding of drums in your head.
head spinning, stomach churning, you wonder where you are.
silently you gather your belonging, slipping out into the quiet daybreak.
not until you get home is it you realize you have left your dignity.